Good evening! I'm finally getting a chance tonight to sit down and write some in my blog. I started a new job on Wednesday, and it has been hard finding some breathing room. So far, I really love the job. The people are professional and very welcoming. I haven't seen a bad attitude there yet, which is really refreshing. It actually reminds me somewhat about how Smart Horizons was when I started. An added bonus is that a friend of mine that I worked at SH also works at the new job. She loves it there, and I believe I will, too. I'm making a significant amount more a year, and I get to work at home! You can't beat that with a stick, as Bill would say. LOL
Another great thing about this new job is that the tools required to do our jobs actually work, and we don't have to deal with antiquated equipment. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this will be the career I retire from.
We received some belated Christmas cards with gift cards inside them from my father and stepmother. I'm not sure if I mentioned this at all, but my dad and mom got divorced when I was 10 years old. My dad and stepmom married not too terribly long after that. I thought my stepmom was pretty cool at first, but my dad seemed begin to drift away from me once they got together. I was invited to spend the weekend at their house once, and when my dad came and picked me up, he talked to my mom for a few minutes at the front door. Well, Janice (my stepmom) got very jealous about that and proceeded to get drunk while I was there, and she and my dad started to argue. After that, I was never invited to stay at their house again, and my dad very rarely called me and never helped support me financially. It was like he divorced me just like he divorced my mom.
I wish more parents realized what something like this does to children. I felt rejected by my dad. A girl's father is the first man in her life, and when she feels thrown away by her dad, she just doesn't feel good enough for a decent man. If your own father rejects you, who on earth is going to want you? As a result, I married two not-so-good husbands who treated me exactly like I thought of myself.....like dirt under their feet. I did get three wonderful children from those marriages, but it doesn't change the fact that I no longer had a relationship with my father.
I keep wondering if maybe Janice kept him from calling me or visiting me all those years because she couldn't stand for him to have any contact with my mom. It wouldn't surprise me at all. What really upsets me about all this is that every time I am around them, she goes out of her way to put a guilt trip on me about never calling or visiting. First of all, why should a child as young as I was be expected to call her dad. Why couldn't he pick up the phone and call me himself?
The last straw happened yesterday when we received the gift cards. There was yet another guilt trip of a letter in the envelope. You don't do that when you're sending a gift. However, this is how it always is. Every time I see them, I get a guilt trip put on me by Janice. I'm sick of it, so I sent her an email and told her off. She needed to here all this. What a piece of work!
Well, gotta get to bed. I'll talk to you all soon!
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