Christmas 2011 and a New Year on the Horizon

Well, Christmas 2011 has come and gone, and we are looking towards 2012 and whatever it will bring us. New Year's is a time for new beginnings and leaving the past behind. This coming year, I will be starting a new job making more money than I have ever made in my life. I'm very excited and a little nervous. We've been through a lot this year. We lost four family members, three of them within the space of one day and another just a couple of months ago. We also have one family member in jail for the deaths of two of those aforementioned family members. Needless to say, my family is struggling to deal with it all.

 As I mentioned in a previous blog post, things have just naturally begun to change. This Christmas was spent mostly at home with me, my husband, my youngest daughter, and my mother. I cooked Christmas dinner, and we all enjoyed it together. Then, we went to my mother-in-law's house to spend time with family. In previous years, I went to my grandmother's house for Christmas, but since she passed away in February, everything has changed. I was actually worried that Christmas would be sad this year because it was the first one without her. I did miss her, Brandi, Zoe, and Kyano and thought about them that day and on Christmas Eve. However, this Christmas turned out to be really wonderful because we got the chance to meet our beautiful new addition to the family, Ms. Lillian Jeannette Hart (my step-granddaughter). I may just be a step-grandmother, but I love Lily just as I will love my biological grandchildren one day. It was so wonderful to hold Lily. I had the privilege of holding her at our house on Christmas Eve and at Grandma Hart's on Christmas night. What an amazing feeling that was! She is such a precious baby! It was also wonderful to watch Bill hold his granddaughter for the first time and then get to feed her and let her fall asleep on his chest. He was so proud and happy! He loves being PawPaw!

I found it very refreshing also to watch Joe and Sarah take care of Lillian. What amazing parents they are! They take turns getting up with her at night and are both so attentive to her needs. Too many parents today just don't seem to care, but it is very obvious that these two young people were raised with the knowledge that family is what comes first. They know that their child's needs come before ANYTHING they want or need.

 I'm also very happy because my son came from Texas to see me. Late Christmas night, we went and picked Alex up from his stepmom's grandparents' house. It has been so wonderful spending time with him. I am so amazed at how quickly he is growing up. I am so proud of him. My oldest daughter did not come with him, however. I wish she would realize that I only did what I thought was right to protect her. I love Hayley very much! All I have ever wanted is to see my children succeed to the best of their abilities. I pray that Hayley will one day wake up and see that.

I'd like to take this time to wish everyone that may be reading a Happy New Year! I wish all of you the best that 2012 has to offer. May God bless you!

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

I saw a sign on a church close to my house that read, "It's okay to say Merry Christmas" which is what sparked my blog post this morning. Yes, of course, it's okay to say "Merry Christmas." No one ever said it wasn't. But what's wrong with saying "Happy Hanukkah," "Happy Kwanza," or cover them all by simply saying "Happy Holidays"? Can someone explain to me why the holiday season is only about Christians?

I am a Christian, but I get sick and tired of hearing other Christians talk about how "persecuted" they are as if no one else is. Look at what is going on right now with the TLC show All-American Muslim. Lowe's pulled their advertisements from the show after being pressured by a conservative Christian group. Now, the show's rating are dropping, and it may be pulled by its network. That sounds like a case of Christians persecuting Muslims to me. The group says that the show is not depicting Muslims as they really are. However, not all Muslims are violent and believe in killing people. There is only a very small percentage that are like that. Most Muslims want the same things as we do. They want the same opportunities we enjoy. What's wrong with that anyway? Are they not HUMAN BEINGS, just like us?

One of the main tenets of Christianity is that we are love our neighbors as ourselves. Guess what, folks? We have Muslim neighbors, gay neighbors, black neighbors, Jewish neighbors, etc. Jesus wants us to LOVE them, not hate them. After all, that is what this holiday season is supposed to be about, isn't it? Showing love and peace to all men and women? That means we are to love and respect EVERYONE around us, even the ones we don't agree with or even particularly like. If we allow that love and respect to come forth, it can help to make a world a better place for our children and grandchildren.

So instead of worrying about whether we say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays", why don't we concentrate instead on bringing forth the true spirit of the season?

"Let There Be Peace on Earth" by Vince Gill

Two Weeks of Notice

Well, I did it! It was something that I never thought I would do. I resigned from my job of almost two years. When I first started working for the company, I thought I was so blessed because I found a job where they treat their workers like family, and I really loved the work! I kept recommending the place to everyone I knew who needed a job. I even helped my friend, my husband, and my stepdaughter get jobs there because I thought the place was so great! I worked my butt off for them day in and day out. I never even called in sick in the whole almost two years I was there. The first month I worked there, I worked sick as a dog for about three days. I just couldn't let myself call in because I valued the job so much, and I just appreciated them giving me a chance to show them what I could do. I hadn't worked outside the home for about 5 years, so it's almost a miracle that they hired me at all. I had run a home daycare and did medical transcription, but I had my degrees in English and education and a pretty good writing ability that the company was able to recognize.

I remained very loyal to the company until about February 2011, when I watched many of my co-workers get laid off because the project we were working on did not take off as expected. They were told it would only be for 60 days, and now it's been almost a year. Then in October 2011, there was another round of layoffs, and I had to watch my stepdaughter and friend whom I helped get a job there have their hearts broken. That was supposed to be for 90 days only, but I have a hard time these days trusting anything the company says anymore. Just before the second round of layoffs, our paychecks did not arrive on time. That is when I decided that it may be time to look for something else. So I put some resumes out. The day after I did this, we all had a mandatory meeting in which we heard that we had our product and were going to concentrate more on sales and less on product development, and that is when the second round of layoffs occured. Well, since I work in production of new material, hearing that did not make me feel any better about my future with the company, so I was glad I had put those resumes out.

About a month later, I got a call from an online university, and they wanted to interview me for a position as an instructional designer. They told me the position started in the low $40,000s, and there was a possibility of working remotely. Well, by this time, I had been forced to take a pay cut and was making less than I made when I first started working for my current company. I decided to go for the interview and see what would happen. The interview went well, so they decided they wanted a writing sample from me. I completed it and sent it back in. It took a couple of weeks, but they finally got back to me and offered me a position working remotely with a salary of $40,000 to start with benefits and 401K. Because of the significant increase in pay, it was kind of a no-brainer. I accepted the position and got a start date of January 4, 2012.

I decided to do the professional thing by following the policies and procedures manual of my current (now former) company and give them two weeks of notice. Well, they decided that they didn't need me anymore and told me to leave right away. This happened yesterday, right before lunch. While it's nice to have a 2-week vacation right before I start a new job, it kind of hurt because of all the hard work I put into my job there. They just decided that they no longer needed me and threw me aside. I have come to realize, though, that there really is no company you can trust. I thought my former company was different, but they're not. They are all in it for the bottom line without having a care about people. They pretend that you're all one big happy family, but it's all a facade. They will cut anyone's throat if it allows them to make money. I find it sad that it has to be that way, and I am now actually glad to be away from them. I am losing four days of pay that I was counting on, but you know something? I think it's worth it just to have some peace of mind and a break.

So here's to a new year with new possibilities and new hope! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Major Life Events and Christmas

Well, I was talking with my mom tonight about Christmas, and it really brought it home to me how so much has changed. When I was growing up, we would go to MeeMaw's Christmas Eve and then Mana's (my dad's mom) on Christmas Day. That all changed for the first time when I was a sophomore in high school. Mana passed away, and everyone kind of separated. My parents were already split up by this time, and my dad didn't come and get me for get togethers with that side of the family anymore. That was my first experience with how things change when major life events occur. 

The second time came when I got married myself the first time and had children. Suddenly, there were even more sets of relatives to visit, which meant a lot of juggling. People just don't seem to realize (or maybe they just forget) that it's harder for a family with small children to travel than it is for people who no longer have that deal with. However, people still expected us to come see them without making the effort to come see us.

The third time came after my divorce and subsequent remarriage. Now, there were even more sides of the family to juggle, and it came with a price. Sometimes, I wouldn't get to see my family at all some holidays because I had to be with my husband's family. Additionally, my children's father wanted to see them for the holidays, too, so I would really only get half of the holiday with my children, which can be very difficult for a mother.

The fourth time came when I remarried for the third time. My new husband (and best one, by the way) had his own Christmas traditions that I wanted to honor. When I met him, I was still going to my MeeMaw's on Christmas Eve as I had done from my childhood, but I also went on Christmas Day since I wasn't seeing my dad's side of the family anymore. Bill's tradition was to have his kids over to his house for Christmas Eve to hang out with snacks and to watch A Christmas Carol. Because I love my husband and I was going to MeeMaw's on Christmas Day anyway, I decided to honor his tradition and be with him and all of our kids, his and mine, on Christmas Eve.

Now, this year, it has all changed again. My MeeMaw has passed away. This is our first Christmas without her. I have also lost two young cousins, one almost 16 (tomorrow would have been her 16th birthday) and one 18 and a new mother. It's hard to really embrace the holidays this year because now, I have to come up with new family traditions. Also, my two older children are not with me. In fact, my oldest daughter wants nothing to do with me. At least my son is coming after Christmas to see me for a little while, although I really wish I could have him on Christmas. It somehow doesn't really feel like Christmas this year. I hope the Spirit of Christmas comes along soon. I really want to enjoy the holidays, but I miss my lost family members so much, especially my MeeMaw.

There are some bright spots, though. We have a new addition to the family, and we get to meet her in just a couple of weeks!!! I am very excited to see Ms. Lillian. She is such a beautiful little girl! Maybe seeing her will bring Christmas alive to me again.

Don't get me wrong, though. I am  incredibly happy here with my husband and my daughter. Having them makes me smile everyday. I guess tonight I'm just missing all the good times growing up and realizing that I'm getting older and it's almost time for me to be the grandma. Where did all that time go??

Good night!