Affairs of the Harts
Saturday, June 15, 2013
Beliefs
Unfortunately, certain religions feel the need to exclude certain people in order to make the world better. I have trouble with that. I have met so many wonderful people that don't fit into the mold that most religions want them to fit into. Most of these people do more good for others than the religious people that I know. These are the people that I want to be around because I see a spirit inside of them that most (not all) of the people in the Christian churches I went to claimed to have but never showed to others. They never even attempted to reach out and help others. Instead, they just stayed inside their church walls and preached to each other.
However, the people who don't fit into the traditional church mold have more of what I like to call the Christ spirit in them than so-called Christians do. By the Christ spirit, I don't mean what most people think of when they hear it. I'm not referring to Jesus Christ at all, although during his life on earth, I believe that Jesus of Nazareth did display these characteristics and was trying to teach others to recognize this spirit inside of them. To me, the Christ spirit in a person is "a state of consciousness that is defined by forgiveness, compassion, unconditional love, and total reverence for life and self." I believe that everyone has this spirit living inside of them and that everyone is capable of allowing this spirit to come forth. Some people may not recognize that they have it or simply don't choose to exercise it, but it is there. This is why I choose to honor all life because all life comes from this spirit and contains this spirit. I believe that even those who don't believe in a god or gods at all still have that spirit in them because I have seen firsthand how much they care about others and go out of their way to make sure everyone has the same rights as everyone else. They even want to make sure that people who believe in a god have the right to worship and honor that god however they choose, even though many religious people don't want to extend them the right to not honor and worship a god.
Even I wouldn't be welcome in Christian churches anymore because of the things I am saying here, and I was once in music ministry in a Christian church. They would probably say that I'm "backslidden." Actually, though, I believe that my eyes have been opened, and I am finally free to worship the God that I can believe in the way I feel like I should. I can finally have a true connection to that Christ spirit within me that I wasn't allowed to have in my former church, and I can exercise that spirit to help others.....all others, not just the ones that my former church approves of. I can direct my energy to help others and even cause good things to happen for others.
Hmm........that sounds a bit like prayer, doesn't it? I bet you didn't know that other religions besides just one actually pray, too. If only we could all focus on the things they we have in common instead of always focusing on the things that are different, what an awesome world this would be!
Here are a couple of articles that fit in to my idea of the Christ spirit. Check them out if you're interested.
http://dianescholten.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/unity-principles-the-christ-spirit-lives-within-me/
http://www.powertoshare.com/dropzone/articles/2001/05/the-christ-spirit/
Friday, May 24, 2013
Friends
I started thinking about all this yesterday and about the friends that I have had as an adult. I've never been one to have a whole lot of friends because I don't always fit in with people. I did have a few friends in college while I was still single, but when I got married and had kids, my old single friends and I didn't seem to have much in common anymore. As a result, we lost touch. Isn't it interesting how people will tell you that they'll keep in touch but most of the time never really do?
During my second marriage, I had some really close friends that my then-husband and I hung out with. We all went to the same church, had dinners together, and had game nights together. Our daughters all played softball together. Sadly, I don't see much of those folks anymore, and I think now that part of the reason for that was that we all spent way too much time together. Another problem was that each one of the women in this group of friends (myself included) had a daughter that was very close in age to the other two daughters. Our biggest mistake was getting involved when our daughters would argue among themselves. What would happen is that we would try to defend our daughters against each other, and we'd all get mad at each other. The girls, on the other hand, would eventually make up, but we'd all still be mad. How silly and stupid is that? This is the kind of thing that ruined our friendship. We would say things to each other that were hurtful and made the others feel like they were bad mothers. It's not our place to judge others, you know? But we did it, and it drove us apart.
One of these two ladies that I am referring to also caused problems between my then-husband and me. She would flirt with him and even managed to get herself "accidentally" locked in her bedroom with him. Also, every time she and I would argue, she would go to him and complain about me. Then, he would come home mad at me and make me apologize to her! This same "friend" then tried to flirt with my current husband, who was just my boyfriend at the time, at my daughter's 16th birthday party! He didn't put up with it. He just walked away from her and shut her down! My former husband was different, though. He ate it up and enjoyed every minute of it.
These days, it's kind of hard for me to make friends because I have a hard time trusting anyone, except my husband. My friends back then always seemed like they wanted to tell me what to do and wanted to control me. In fact, it felt like everyone back then wanted to. Sadly, I allowed it. I didn't like myself very much back then, so I tried my hardest to please everyone, which I know now to be an impossible task. Nowadays, however, I don't allow anyone to control me. For this reason, I'm not sure that I could ever get really close to my former friends again. I don't think they would like who I am now. I'm not the same beaten down person who is easily controlled anymore. I actually like myself now. I have a great marriage, a nice home, and a job that pays me very well. Also, my beliefs have been evolving and changing over the years. I have come to respect each and every person for who they are. Their race, religion (or lack thereof), and sexual orientation no longer matters to me, and I believe in working to make sure that everyone has the same rights as everyone else. I'm not sure my old friends would understand that.
I am now a part of a wonderful community of Unitarian Universalists, and I've never been happier. These are the people that I prefer to be with, especially all the lovely ladies in the Women's Spirituality Group. They have welcomed me in with open arms, and I have never once felt judged by anyone. I have finally found a church whose mission I can totally get behind, and I love being there!
I guess I said all that to say this. Don't waste your time with people who bring you down and make you feel that you are less than what you are. Find people who build you up instead of those who prey on your weaknesses and won't let you become what you were always meant to be. Sometimes, that means that you will be on your own for a while, but eventually, the right people will come along. I believe the right ones for me are finally here!!
To learn more about Unitarian Universalism, visit the following site:
http://www.uupensacola.org/
There you will find an awesome video who tells who we are and what we believe. I included a link here as well:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=8nWf7oHX_ms
Monday, May 6, 2013
Why Do You Feel Threatened?
The whole problem in our society today is that people want to be able to control what other people do. This is the article that I read this morning that inspired this post today.
http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/gingrich-religious-rights-of-catholics-are-outlawed-by-gay-rights-video/politics/2013/05/06/66463
Basically, our old buddy Newt Gingrich wants everyone to believe allowing gay couples to adopt children negates the rights of all Catholics to adopt children. That is simply not true. Catholic Charities in Massachusettes has been allowing gay couples to adopt children for years and only now has stopped allowing it after four Catholic bishops found out about it. As a result, Catholic Charities lost government funding due to anti-discrimination laws. All this means is that people have to go through other means to adopt, not that they can't ever adopt. If the group was not discriminating against people (which in my opinion denies a basic Christian principle of loving one another), then they would still be able to obtain government funding and still be able to help people obtain adoptions.
What this all amounts to is wanting to able to control others by pushing one group of people's religious beliefs on everyone. Our country was founded on the idea of freedom of religion. That means that all religions should have the same right to worship and honor the deity, or no deity at all, of their choice in whatever way they choose with no fear of persecution or humiliation. Christians, Pagans, Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, Agnostics, Atheists, etc. should all be allowed the same rights and should NEVER push their beliefs on someone else. So stop feeling so threatened, people, and celebrate the one thing that we all have in common. We are all human!
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Control
It was an incredibly rough time in my life, and I became severely depressed. As a result, I really became a not-such-a-great mother, and my two older children have suffered for it. I would even (and I am ashamed of this) discipline my daughter for things my friends told me she had done, even though those things didn't really happen quite the way I was told. Because of this, my daughter came not to trust me and went looking for someone else she felt she could trust. This led her into a very destructive relationship, which she is sadly still involved in. My son eventually went to live with his dad in Texas. He did struggle with some problems for a while there, but he has really pulled himself out of it and is doing great. He is finishing high school next year, has a job, and just bought himself his own truck. I'm very proud of him! Sometimes, though, it makes me sad because he had to get away from my destructive behavior in order to become the man he is growing into.
I have since come to realize that the only one who can actually control the way my life is going is me, not anyone else. Moving away from all those controlling influences helped me to wake up and realize that I am a good and intelligent person who can run her own life. I now have a really good job that pays very well, an awesome husband who never tries to control me, and a fabulously intelligent and talented daughter who gets the benefit of actually having a sane mother! I've begun reexamining my spirituality and have realized that there is more to all of it than I actually thought. I can actually affect the things that happen in my life through just my attitude toward things. If I give off positive energy, then I will get back positive things. In the past, I was giving off negative energy, so I got back negative things. Now, things have gotten so much better simply because I prefer to see things in a positive light. I've met a great bunch of people at the Unitarian Universalist church and spend time once a month with some awesome woman in the Women's Spirituality Circle. I finally, after many years of searching, actually feel like I belong somewhere. It's truly amazing how a simple attitude change can change your whole life!
Remember all who are reading this, that when you start looking for the good things in your life instead of focusing on all the bad, good things will begin happening for you. I know it can be so difficult, but I promise you that it can happen. Thanks for reading, and I hope to find more time to post this year!!! :)
Thursday, August 30, 2012
It's been a while......
But I'm back. I can't believe that I haven't posted since January! I've just been so busy with work and family. I'm even pursuing my MBA now! It's just so hard to find the time. I was just here thinking how much life can change in just three years. Three years ago, I was living in a dumpy little 2 bedroom apartment with my three kids and barely making enough money to get by. I was on food stamps and almost got evicted. I had no confidence in myself anymore. I had been divorced twice and thought that the only men I could ever attract were losers. In fact, I had one really great guy around who was my friend but never seemed to look at me as anything other than that, even though I certainly looked at him that way.
Well, one night, things began to turn around. I started talking to this really wonderful man online. This man was certainly no loser. He was someone I could hold an intelligent conversation with. If I hadn't met him, there is no telling where I would be now. He showed me that I am smart, strong, and capable and that I am good enough to be loved by a decent man. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have the wonderful job and nice, stable home that I have now. I would never have learned to love myself and have the ability to stand up for myself. I thank God every day for my amazing husband. He has truly been an answer to my prayers.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Life is Good!!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
New Job and Other Happenings
Another great thing about this new job is that the tools required to do our jobs actually work, and we don't have to deal with antiquated equipment. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this will be the career I retire from.
We received some belated Christmas cards with gift cards inside them from my father and stepmother. I'm not sure if I mentioned this at all, but my dad and mom got divorced when I was 10 years old. My dad and stepmom married not too terribly long after that. I thought my stepmom was pretty cool at first, but my dad seemed begin to drift away from me once they got together. I was invited to spend the weekend at their house once, and when my dad came and picked me up, he talked to my mom for a few minutes at the front door. Well, Janice (my stepmom) got very jealous about that and proceeded to get drunk while I was there, and she and my dad started to argue. After that, I was never invited to stay at their house again, and my dad very rarely called me and never helped support me financially. It was like he divorced me just like he divorced my mom.
I wish more parents realized what something like this does to children. I felt rejected by my dad. A girl's father is the first man in her life, and when she feels thrown away by her dad, she just doesn't feel good enough for a decent man. If your own father rejects you, who on earth is going to want you? As a result, I married two not-so-good husbands who treated me exactly like I thought of myself.....like dirt under their feet. I did get three wonderful children from those marriages, but it doesn't change the fact that I no longer had a relationship with my father.
I keep wondering if maybe Janice kept him from calling me or visiting me all those years because she couldn't stand for him to have any contact with my mom. It wouldn't surprise me at all. What really upsets me about all this is that every time I am around them, she goes out of her way to put a guilt trip on me about never calling or visiting. First of all, why should a child as young as I was be expected to call her dad. Why couldn't he pick up the phone and call me himself?
The last straw happened yesterday when we received the gift cards. There was yet another guilt trip of a letter in the envelope. You don't do that when you're sending a gift. However, this is how it always is. Every time I see them, I get a guilt trip put on me by Janice. I'm sick of it, so I sent her an email and told her off. She needed to here all this. What a piece of work!
Well, gotta get to bed. I'll talk to you all soon!