Is the United States Still a Christian Nation?

The answer I'm afraid seems to be no. In fact, I'm not sure that we ever were. Take a look at our history, and take a look at the way we treat one another today. I wonder sometimes if God is ashamed that we call ourselves Christians. People in our part of the country enslaved other people once simply because their skin color was different. In fact, we fought and killed each other over it. Do you really think God is proud of that? What about the people who were already here when we arrived? We just pushed them out of the way so we could take what we wanted! People think it's okay to hate other people simply for being different, and people don't believe in giving basic human rights to others simply because they don't live their lives the way those people think they should. If you stop and think about it, we are all basically the same and want the same things out of life. We all want to love and be loved, and we all want a chance to make something out of our lives. Why should anyone stand in the way of that?

Also, can anyone tell me what good it does for anyone to work against everything President Obama wants to do? Does anyone really want our country to improve or are they just willing to do everything it takes to make Mr. Obama look bad? How about we think about our country's future for once instead of just thinking about me, myself, and I?

I posted the link below to my Facebook page, but I'm not sure how many people actually saw it. If you haven't read it, you should. It's very interesting and exactly what Bill and I both have been saying recently. Check it out. It just might make you think!

Do We Really Live Like Christians?

Check out these videos as well and really listen to the words:

Casting Crowns--Does Anybody Hear Her?

Casting Crowns--Jesus, Friend of Sinners (Lyrics below)

"Jesus, Friend Of Sinners"

Jesus, friend of sinners, we have strayed so far away
We cut down people in your name but the sword was never ours to swing
Jesus, friend of sinners, the truth's become so hard to see
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me
Always looking around but never looking up I'm so double minded
A plank eyed saint with dirty hands and a heart divided

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

Yeah...

Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Make the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of thieves
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
No one knows what we're for only against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours

You love every lost cause; you reach for the outcast
For the leper and the lame; they're the reason that You came
Lord I was that lost cause and I was the outcast
But you died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

'Cause You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever
You are good, You are good and Your love endures forever

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to world at the end of our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks Yours

And I was the lost cause and I was the outcast
Yeah...
You died for sinners just like me, a grateful leper at Your feet

The Eagles--The Last Resort

Life and Death

Hi. I'm just sitting here tonight thinking about life and how fragile it really is. You just never really know when it is going to be your time to go or someone's time that you really love and care about. About seven months ago, I lost three members of my family within the span of 24 hours. First, my grandmother passed away at the age of 84 from a heart attack. It was very unexpected, but when people get to be her age, you know that it could be anytime. We miss her terribly, and I regret not spending enough time with her. I sure am glad, though, that Bill and I were able to take her, my mom, and his mom all out to lunch a couple of times. We had a great time with them. Bill's mom and my grandma were born in the same month except that my grandma was a year older than Bill's mom. (I know that sounds weird but Bill and I are about 11 1/2 years apart in age) Losing MeeMaw (my grandma) was very sad, but what happened the next evening was so shocking that it all still seems so surreal, even to this day. My cousin was taking her daughter Zoe (who was 18 and a new mother) and my other cousin Brandi (who was 15) to buy dresses for MeeMaw's funeral. Sadly, they were in a terrible accident, and the two teenagers were killed instantly.

This shows us that death can come to anyone at any time. I was thinking about this tonight because headstones were finally delivered this week for MeeMaw, Zoe, and Brandi's graves.

It hadn't been that long since I had seen them when this happened, and they were all so full of life. I wish I had another chance to let them know how much I loved them. The picture below, though, is what really got me thinking:

The name on the bottom right of this headstone is my mother's name. This is a woman who has always been my rock. She has stood by me so many times and has loved me unconditionally. Seeing her name on that headstone reminded me again of how precious time with our loved ones is and how we just don't know when it will be anyone's time to go.

About seven weeks ago, Bill experienced a transient ischemic attack (TIA) also known as a mini-stroke. I thank God every day that he is still with me and that he has no permanent damage because I really could have lost him. That is why I am working so hard to help him get his triglycerides down and keep them down and helping to keep his blood sugar under control. I am exercising with him and eating the very same diet he is eating. It makes it easier for him when someone else does it, too. I also make sure that food he can't have is not allowed in the house. One thing that I am always sure to do, too, is let him know everyday how much he means to me.

I want to urge everyone reading here to let the people you love know how loved they are and how much they truly mean to you. You may never get another chance to do it. Thanks for reading!

RIP Brandi, Zoe, and MeeMaw
Garth Brooks--If Tomorrow Never Comes

Why So Open?

Some people have questioned why I am so open about some of the things I’ve been through in my life. Well, let me ask you this? Why do you think some people don’t come to church? Have you considered that it is possible that some of these folks just don’t think they’re good enough to come in? When people first come into a church, what they see most of the time are people who look like nothing is ever wrong in their lives, and what they hear are people telling them how bad the things they do are. They begin to feel like there is simply no hope for them, so they leave and never come back. They feel as if they will never measure up to that woman up there leading the praise team or that man up there preaching, so really what’s the use?

I am of the opinion that it is important for ministry to let people know that they are only human, too, and they make mistakes. The trick is letting them know that they can rise above it and become something greater. The pastor at My Father’s Vineyard here in Pensacola is a wonderful example of this. He did some terrible things in his past, but he was able to rise up and overcome them to be an outstanding example to others. And you know something? He doesn’t mind telling anyone about his past because it shows them that he was weak, too. He even talks about some of the mistakes he makes even now. It lets people know that people in ministry are just people like the rest of us. So, come on, ministers! Show us what you got!

Of course, this doesn't just apply to ministry. We can all use things that we've been through in our lives to help others get through similar things. It's not a crime to tell people that you, too, are weak or have been weak in areas but were able to work through those things and become the person you are today. Don't be afraid to show weakness, and don't be afraid to admit when you don't know something or when you make a mistake. Allowing these things to show in your life can actually help others get stronger and pull themselves up, too. Our goal should be to build others up rather than tearing them down to make yourself feel better. Putting others down doesn't change bad behavior in others. It instead reinforces the behavior because they begin to believe that they are a failure and might as well not even try.

Try to look for the good qualities and reinforce those in people instead of always looking for the bad. You just might be pleasantly surprised at the results! :)

Casting Crowns--Stained Glass Masquerade

Christianity

Hi! I wanted to talk a little tonight about Christianity and what it means to me. First of all, I want to say that I am a believer, and I do consider myself to be a Christian. Unfortunately, my version of Christianity and the church's version of Christianity are not exactly the same. I believe that Jesus really meant it when He said that we should love another and that we should welcome one another in, even if they don't agree with us. However, I have noticed that the church seems to feel that it's perfectly acceptable to leave certain people out and control the way people behave.

Example #1: I went to Pensacola Christian School (now known as Pensacola Christian Academy or PCA) from nursery school to 5th grade. While I was there, I was told how to dress, what music I was allowed to listen to, and what television shows I was allowed to watch. If I deviated in any way from this, I was sinning against God. Since those days, I have noticed that Pensacola Christian College's main goal is to keep its students separated for the most part from mainstream society. In fact, they are trying to close down part of a public road to suit their purposes. Also, they tell their students how to dress and behave and do not allow them to date.

Example #2: I was raised in the Baptist church. This time, there was a pastor telling us what to do and how to live. Also, no other belief system in the world was correct except Baptists. Everyone else was simply wrong. I was also taught not to associate with people who did not believe, but in the same breath was told to witness to people about Jesus and tell them that they would burn in Hell forever if they did not accept him. Needless to say, it left me very confused. The Baptist church was where I first encountered the Rapture doctrine. You know the one. Jesus will return to earth and take away all the Christians, leaving everyone else to die horrible deaths at the hands of the Antichrist. Then all the Christians and Jesus would come back to a new earth and reign it forever. Again, there they go leaving people out again. I have always had a problem accepting a loving God wanting to see people suffer, but that's just me, I guess.

Example #3: I was a member of a small church here in Pensacola for 9 years. I did learn a lot there, but even they thought it was okay to leave some people out. They claimed to welcome everyone, but then they would use terrible, hateful words to describe people that were different than they. Again, in one breath, they would say love everyone and then call homosexuals a terrible hate word that I don't want to repeat here. The pastor of the church was very domineering and expected everyone to do everything he said. This is the same church where I was dismissed from a leadership position in a very humiliating way.

These experiences have led me away from church as I previously stated, but it does not change my faith in Jesus Christ and in Christianity. You see, true Christianity is not about following some doctrines and laws. It is about love. That's it. Pure and simple love, nothing more and nothing less. God IS love. And he loves us unconditionally, no matter what. I find it very unfortunate that the church and organized religion has taken Christianity and twisted it into something that people have no desire to be a part of. They are told, in essence, that in order to be accepted by God, they have to change everything that some pastor tells them they should. However, that is really not true. God accepts us just the way we are, and He wants us to accept others just the way they are. He said nothing about telling them everything they are doing wrong. What he did tell us to do was show them love and mercy because that is what Jesus would have shown if He was here. Telling people that they are bad all the time does nothing but encourage that person to be upset and angry all the time.

I believe in accepting everyone. I wish I could start a church because if I did, I would welcome anyone, no matter how they look or how they dress or what kind of lifestyle they lead. Yes, that means anyone from the LBGT groups are welcomed in. I just want a chance to let everyone know how truly loved they are. That is the one thing that Jesus stressed the most. If more people would show love and support to one another, how much better do you think this world could be?

Listen to the words:

If We Are the Body--Casting Crowns

Unbelievable!!!

Over the weekend, I found out that my 2nd ex-husband (the piece of work; his name is Jamie) moved again and wants our 8-year-old (Amy) to come and stay overnight at his new place on his next weekend. Normally, I would not have a problem with that. I don't believe in keeping children from their parents because when you do that you are punishing the child. I did, however, want to get the address and name of the person he was living with, which is my legal right. I mean, after all, I did let him know who I was moving in with and who would be living there when I moved from Milton to Pensacola. As Amy's father, I felt he had the right to know, even if I personally don't like him. Anyway, I wanted the name and address so I could check this new roommate out and make sure it was okay for Amy to be around him. See, my ex has not historically made good decisions throughout his life. After all, this is a man who invests in quick-rich-schemes all the time  instead of working for a living! And you know what? The schemes never work! Big surprise there, right??This is also the same man who married a 76-year-old woman when he was 48 so he could live off her money instead of getting a job. She just recently passed away, so who knows what he'll do next?

Jamie met his last roommate on Craig's list and now this one, too. He just moves into these places without making sure the people are not convicted felons or something and then wants to take Amy around them! He gave me a hard time about wanting the address and name of the guy, accusing me of trying to control who he takes Amy around. However, what I am really trying to do is keep Amy safe. Anyway, when I put this guy's name in the Clerk of Court's website, I pulled up a rap sheet as long as my arm. This guy has been convicted of burglary, possession of cocaine with intent to sell, possession of marijuana, assault, and cyberstalking. He was even arrested in April 2011 for something unknown. This guy even sells things from his house, what things I don't know. Jamie, however, thinks it's perfectly okay for Amy to spend the night over there with him!

I think not, but I'm really not sure what I can do about it. I don't mind if he just wants to take her for the day and bring her back at night. Unfortunately, you can't reason with someone like Jamie. He never feels like he does anything wrong.  If anyone has any ideas about how to handle this, speak up please. I need all the help I can get!

Church?

Good Sunday morning, everyone. It is Sunday, and I am sitting here listening to some praise and worship music. In fact, one of my favorite songs is playing: "Shout to the Lord". Some people that may be reading this know that I was once a praise and worship leader at a small church in Pensacola, Florida. The years that I did that were some of the most amazing of my life! I loved leading God's people in worship. I miss it to this day. I did get to a point, however, when I just didn't feel the joy I once I had, though. One of my best friends noticed it when it was happening, which he told me after the fact. I think much of it had to do with the fact that I no longer felt supported by other members of leadership, and that hurt me. There was a time when I took the praise team to a festival where other church choirs and praise teams were singing. I thought it would be a good way to let people know about our church. I asked the congregation to come and support us, but NO ONE but one person showed up! I wanted to step down then, and I went to my pastor and asked to do so. At that time, he talked me out of it, so I stuck with it for a while longer. Finally, it got to a point where I could no longer continue. Bill, who was my boyfriend at the time, and I decided to move in together, something I knew my pastor would not support. I decided I needed to step down at that time, and Bill and I went to talk to him so I could step down. He and his wife, as expected, were unhappy about the choice I had made but told me that I could lead worship the next day as usual. I spent that night preparing for worship, and I was happy and relieved because I had been honest with him. I was thinking that perhaps my honesty had led to me keeping my position as praise leader. I even felt more energized about worship than I had in a long time because I thought I had his support once again. However, when I got to church that morning, I was taken into the office and told that I had to step down that very day, something that I had not prepared for. I was devastated because I thought that I was going to be allowed to continue (however, I should have known better). I cried through the entire worship time and then could barely speak when I had to address the congregation about stepping down. When I left the church that day, I was determined that I was not coming back, and for a long time, I did not. I've actually only been back three times since then, and that was when one of favorite preachers was going to be there.

I just don't understand to this day why he couldn't have just let me quietly step down. I felt so humiliated. Maybe that was his goal. I don't know. Ever since that time, I have not really been able to go to church regularly. I have a very hard time trusting pastors and others in leadership after what happened. I had a found a church here in Pensacola that I really enjoyed, but even they started preaching things that I could not agree with. Also, I came from a church where you know everyone personally, even the pastor. This church, though, was so large that there was really no way to do that. I kind of felt like the needle in the haystack there. There was no personal touch.

Also, I have a hard time going to churches where people are excluded simply because of things in their lives that church people consider "sin". For example, I have a coworker who happens to be gay. No, it's not the same lifestyle that I have, but I don't consider it to be wrong. She and her partner are no different that my husband and I are, other than the fact that they are both women. They want the same things out of life and want nothing more than to be treated the same as anyone else. I see absolutely NOTHING wrong with that! My coworker is one of the most generous and caring people I know, but the church calls her sinful. You know something? Everyone has something in their lives that people are going to call sinful. Yes, that even includes pastors, evangelists, and worship leaders. I know of one pastor's wife who has a problem with an addiction to pain medication. How is that "sin" different from any other sin? It isn't. NO ONE but God should be judging anyone else because we all have things in our lives that may be considered "wrong" in someone else's eyes. There was only one person that ever led a perfect life, and we put Him on a cross!

I believe that we are supposed to love EVERYONE, even if their lifestyle is different than ours because that is what Jesus commanded us to do. "Love your neighbor as yourself." How much plainer could He be? However, these are the kinds of beliefs that are not popular in most churches here in Pensacola (and many other places) today, and that is why I am not in church right now. I want very much to go and worship the Lord, but I guess it will just have to be from home right now. Maybe one day I can find a church that truly welcomes all.

Love to all and God bless!!

Shout to the Lord

Fear of Being Alone

One of the biggest worries I hear a lot of women (and men, for that matter) talk about is the fear of living the rest of their lives alone. I understand that fear all too well, and it has led me to do some really stupid things. What I came to realize after my second failed marriage, however, is that it is better to live your life alone than with someone who makes your life miserable. My second husband was a real piece of work. He was constantly putting me down and telling me that my opinions were stupid and meaningless. In his mind, a woman (no matter what kind of education she had) was never as smart as a man, and she should totally submit to the man, even if he was dead wrong (which most of the time he was). At first, I did whatever he wanted because I was so afraid of being alone forever. I also had this idea that God wanted it that way. The Bible does say that a woman should submit herself to a man, right? However, it also says that a man should love his wife as Christ loves the church. Guess what? That means that he is supposed to love and respect her, not make her feel worthless and useless because she isn’t doing exactly what he wants just the way he wants it. 

Once I figured out that I didn’t have to submit to him all the time, things started to change. I started making plans about how I was going to leave him, and I started to no longer put up with his crap. He didn’t like that, and one night, he gave me the ultimatum that I talked about before. He solved my problem for me because I was able then to get out and away from him. However, that dark cloud of worry about being alone was still hovering over me, and I started looking for someone else right away which was a big mistake. I needed to take the time alone to sort out whom I was and what I wanted out of life on my own before involving someone else. I had three kids to think about as well. I went through a series of losers, one of which was so much like my second husband that it was scary! I even had my eye on someone who lived in another state but never really gave me an indication that he wanted to be anything more than friends. When I got to that point, I just stopped looking and started trying to figure out how to be on my own and independent. Well, lo and behold, not too terribly long after that, this wonderful man named Bill came along. He had been through a similar experience as me, but he had been married much longer. That did almost scare me off, but he had also taken the time to examine the things that went wrong in his first marriage and knew exactly what he wanted in a relationship and wasn’t settling for less, just like me. He noticed, too, that I was doing pretty well on my own and had no issues with neediness. Like him, I didn’t NEED someone in my life to make me happy. I simply wanted someone to share my life with, just like him. So we started talking online and finally met each other in person. From there, we fell in love, moved in together, and got married. We both say that we are happier and more content than we have ever been in our lives. For him to say that after being married for 25 years is incredible and makes me feel like the most wonderful wife on earth! I love him dearly and wouldn’t trade him for all the tea in China (one of his favorite sayings)!

Although I am now happily married, I still worry sometimes about being alone one day, but I know now that I can make it. And remember this, ladies (and men). You are never really alone if you have faith in God, a family, and friends that care about you. Having a romantic partner doesn’t always stop you from feeling lonely, either. Being with someone who makes you feel worthless is much worse and can leave you feeling lonely and sad, even when you are still in the relationship. Find out who you are on your own and become independent. I promise you that you will feel empowered and confident in yourself, and it will show to others. And you know what? That is exactly the kind of woman a good man is looking for (and the kind of man a good woman is looking for).